Changing the world - Day 42

This good deed is pretty good indeed. Frenchy's brother and his little friend flew in from France on Wednesday and are staying with us. So I have opened up our home to an extra 2 men...that means I am now sharing the house with 4 boys and 1 male cat...dear God. I am a saint.

The bathroom looks like it's been carpeted. I am up to my boobs in pubes. The bath mat is constantly scrunched into a festering, wet ball beside the shower which makes me want to vomit a little bit.

There are more shavers hanging around than in the Shaver shop, as well as misfired bits of shaving foam on the sink, the mirror, my makeup. Aaaarrrggghhh.

I hope this still counts as a good deed even though I'm whinging about it? On the plus side, it's very nice to see my brother in law. He and his friend are helping me practice French and I'm helping them with their English.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 41

Today I did a good deed that not only failed miserably but could've got me killed! I am not joking. An apocolyptic storm rolled into Woodend at the strike of three o'clock. I was having a read of my book club book 'One Day' and was most content. My husband was in the lounge room sorting his affairs and the baby had just been rocked to sleep when a bolt of lightning lit up the house like an x-ray. Before I could fully reigister the severity of it a thunder clap shook the house to it's very foundations and chased me from my recliner.

I caught a glimpse of my husband crouching in the middle of the lounge room floor as I sprinted towards the baby's room to soothe his no-doubt petrified nerves. (He wasn't fussed at all as it turned out). At least he wasn't until he was in my arms as the next lightning bolt struck and exploded our fuse box. I screamed like a harassed maiden and the baby burst into tears. Frenchy flew hither and thither trying to find candles to light. It looked like the depths of a moonless night outside.

At length I resolved to do my good deed. Much like that fearless heroin in 'Twister', Helen Hunt, I decided to step out my back door and into the eye of the storm with nought but a camera phone set to video. I wanted to capture the raw fury of nature to teach future generations to respect her all-encompassing authority.

After I stopped squealing with each lightning strike I managed to get a rollicking good commentary going. The eerie darkness, the regular bursts of forked electricity, the earth-shaking thunder and the mad tradesmen who continued using power tools outside at my neighbours house were providing an exceptional light and sound spectacular. After a while I realised that I was freezing. The earlier mild temperatures had vanished and an icy wind was whipping around me. I retreated inside and touched the record / pause button only to see the little numbers begin ticking over. I had not been recording at all! Oh the injustice! My soon-to-be Walkley winning video report at the eye of the storm was a mirage. A cruel phantasm.

I returned inside dejected and cold. The sky had begun to break up and the foreboding darkness of earlier was washing away in the growing light. My good deed was non-existent.

What was I to do instead? Fortunately a couple of things presented themselves to me as it turned out. Though the power was out I was still able to access the internet via 3G and saw that Oscar's Law had a new set of e-mails for me to send to parliament. So I did that. I had also received an e-mail from AVAAZ to sign a petition to stop a highway being built through the protected Amazon rainforest in Bolivia. I did that too. A couple of very worthy causes. I have attached both the links and encourage y'all to check them out if you haven't already.

Avaaz - http://www.avaaz.org/en/bolivia_stop_the_crackdown/?cl=1289828810&v=10466

Oscar's Law - http://www.oscarslaw.org/act-now.php

Until tomorrow, if we haven't washed away (as much of our newly-planted veggie patch has :-(

xx

Changing the world - Day 40

Oh my god - day 40. What a milestone! To celebrate, today I did something pretty generous. I cleaned out all the shoes in my closet that I haven't worn this year, boxed them up and took them to the Salvo's.

The less fortunate in Woodend won't know what hit them! There were barely worn Nine West ankle boots in a very cool khaki colour. There were gorgeous strappies from Mollini in yellow and white! (as in 2 sets of shoes, one pair yellow, the other white). There was a pair of Crocs flippies that I've never worn because, despite all the hype, they actually weren't comfortable to me...I hope the next owner has a better experience.

There were a few other pairs as well...including some random sneakers that weren't mine but frenchy kept moving closer and closer to my stuff until they finished in my closet. I think they actually belonged to his Mum when she was here for our wedding! Oh well - she's inadvertently done a good deed now too!

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Sent from my iPhone

Changing the world - Day 39

Did a few good deeds today. First, Frenchy, Noam and I drove to Trentham to visit the little local market. And it was little! And cold. Bloody cold. But we still walked around the tiny set-up, I think there was about 8 stalls in all. Most of which were selling second-hand jars and old cups. But we did buy a big bag of Dutch Creamy potatoes from a lovely man. Yay spuds.

Then a couple of gorgeous friends came up for a visit and somehow I managed to create a pretty nice lunch for us from the nothingness that was in my fridge. Excellent.

Also bumped into my delightful old neighbour and gave her a big cuddle as it had been a while since I'd seen her. She's one of those really genuine people and I just know that our catch up, though brief, made her really happy. I must take Noam over to visit (he was asleep at the time) she adores him. Aw.

I think that was about it. Sometimes lots of little deeds make up a nice, big juicy deed and that's how today was.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 38

Today was a pretty lazy day. Managed to get a decent sleep since Noam only woke up once. Bless. Also realised that I actually have two 'day 19' good deeds, which means I am 1 up. I thought about not doing a good deed today and transferring one of my day 19's over to day 38 but no. That's not very good-deedily of me.

So, today I took some afternoon tea up to my friends who are renovating their house. I'm not sure that they ever actually stop to eat once they're in the reno zone so I figured my arrival bearing sweet vanilla slice treasures was a pretty good deed.

They seemed not only grateful for the sustenance but also the interruption. I can understand that. I reckon renovating is a pretty stressful game. And I'm basing that on hours of research watching 'The Renovators' (which I love!) Navy blue team better win. If that little hobbit that sucks her cheeks in all the time to transform her dimples into cheek chasms wins I will spew. Or her little fart-arse partner August. Booo - what a cretin he is. I like Keenan but what happened to his wife? Does anyone know? Did she do a runner or did she meet an unfortunate end? He defo gets sympathy points as a single Dad. His partner - that little blonde thing - makes me want to hurt people though. She is so annoying. I quite like the khaki team now that Natalia's on there. I don't mind orange Peter either except he can be a little dramatic. His partner Sam is a bit nothing though, right? Who else is there? Oh yeah - sky blue. Boo. That crazy boofy guy is a tool. I don't mind the young thing but I feel like he might be a little 'I am'?

Anyhoo - that was a lesson in how to get sidetracked. Point is my good deed was done thanks to the internationally accepted symbol of good deeds - offerings of dessert.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 37

Did a few good deeds today...like sat through the Collingwood v Hawthorn match because friends of ours wanted to watch it and don't have a tv at the moment. That was hard since both teams are repugnant :-)

I also let someone push in front of me at the supermarket. I'm not sure if they knew they were queue jumping or not but I figured 'hey, am I in that much of a rush? No.'

But my main good deed was to take a photo of one of our beautiful tulips that frenchy's dad planted when he was here to put on our blog. I'm pretty sure I've written a post about the blog we set up for frenchy's mum that is all photos of Noam? Well sometimes I like to throw the odd one in for Papy since he loves Noam too but also did a power of work dans notre jardin when he stayed with us for a few months.

Et voila. Good deeds done today.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 36

I just have to say that I am really enjoying this 365 days of good deed blogging. I feel really good about things...So, on to today.

I am not a religious person but I was raised as a Catholic and spent every Sunday at mass with my family until they decided I was old enough to make my own decisions. At which point I happily rolled over in my bed on Sunday mornings and went back to sleep.

But one thing has stayed with me (well a lot of things have - how can they not when you have religious education class for 13 years?!) and that is the story of the rich man and the poor woman who go to offer a donation to the local church (or something like that). The rich man gives heaps of money but it is only a fraction of what he has. The poor woman, on the other hand, has very little to give but she gives everything she has. And the morale of the story is the rich man is morally bankrupt and the old woman is a saint. (I've paraphrased for

convenience :-)

With that in mind, I always feel like I'm never doing enough to help those less fortunate and really I should be living in a mud hut without any creature comforts. But I know that that is pretty unrealistic and since I'm not religious, but instead subscribe to the 'be kind to others' school of life, I content myself that doing something is better than nothing. Even if I could always do more.

So, getting on to today's good deed. For the past 5 years I have sponsored a child in Africa - Clifford is his name. I found Clifford through PLAN International which I think is a fantastic organisation. Anyway. Today they rang me up to ask whether it would be possible for me to contribute just a little bit more each month for a new program they are running called 'Women Champions'. The plight of the girls in Africa is more dire than that of the men and they need extra special help. Many of them just 'go missing' which is definitely code for something heinous. The lovely PLAN spokesman also told me that African women reinvest 90% of any income they make back into their families and communities where-as the men re-invest only 30%. So they're thinking that the ladies need a bit more help which will in turn help everyone. Agreed.

So I said I'd pitch the extra $9.00 a month (not much when you consider all the good it will do) and fingers crossed the girls might get a slightly better deal.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 35

Today my good deed was to sign up for the Girl's Night In. On the off chance you've not heard of it, Girl's Night In is an annual fundraising drive to support the very worthy cause of women's cancer research.

Having had the misfortune of losing someone very close to me to cancer I am a big supporter of the cancer council and like to get involved. In the past, that has predominantly meant donating, but this year I thought I'd get a bit more hands on.

I've decided to host an evening with all my friends (well, those available anyway) with good food (well, tasty food anyway), good wine (well, cask wine anyway) and possibly a few good movies (well, movies with Patrick Swayze anyway).

I'm excited. I hope it's not just me on a bean bag with 3 weeks worth of potato chips on my lap feeling rather demoralised as Johnny Castle grinds up against Baby. I'm counting on you ladies!

Anyone can get involved in Girls Night In - just head to http://www.girlsnightin.com.au/

and set yourself up. Piece of piddle.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 34

It may seem to be a bit of a theme at the moment but today's good deed was another fan letter.

This one was in the musical genre however, and was looooooooong overdue. I am sure a few of you may be thinking 'what a tool. No-one sends fan mail except desperate stalkers.' Well If saying thank you to someone for inspiring me and helping me overcome tough times or celebrate good times is being a big loser / stalker then that is what I am.

Here's how I figure it - I say thank you a lot to my friends and family. For any number of things. A phone call, an invitation, a conversation, a laugh. Why then, shouldn't I say thank you to the people who, while they wouldn't know me from a twig, have been there for me in other ways? I should damn it. And so I have.

Today I wrote a thank you letter to Pearl Jam. After seeing their documentary 'Twenty' with some of my besties, I was transported back to a time when their music, quite seriously, helped me through each day.

Songs like 'Footsteps' I played on repeat as my heart slowly and torturously broke while I was pining for an unrequited love. I remember playing tennis with a girlfriend and with every shot we hit we had to sing another word to 'Daughter'. I have a photo of me and my friend after we had bought our first PJ concert ticket and could not contain ourselves. After a huge fight with my parents I put 'Indifference' on at a volume that I still cannot believe didn't permanently deafen me. And that is just the nip on the tip of the iceberg.

Pearl Jam have been an important part of my life for longer than some of my best mates. My good deed to send them a thank you letter isn't really a good deed. But a long overdue token of my appreciation for their music, their inspiration and their commitment to me and all their fans.

'I will stare the sundown, until my eyes go blind. I won't change direction and I won't change my mind...'

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 33

What a beeee-autiful day it is today! At least, it is in the WoodyEnd. Sunny and breezey and completely uplifting! Here's another photo of my fave tree in our garden...Ah, makes me smile.

Anyhoo - today's good deed was not something I had even thought about until the recipient thanked me for having done her a good turn.

I was e-mailing a lovely friend of mine who is off to Singapore for a holiday (and the Grand Prix) and I decided to throw together an impromptu list of my 'must see's' in Singers. On the list were the following:

Marina Bay Sands shopping - It is one hell of a hotel / casino / shopping centre.

Paragon shopping centre in Orchard Rd (though may not be so good once you've been to Marina Bay!)

Raffles Hotel for a singapore sling (she's pregnant though so maybe not? :-) Still it's cool to visit such an iconic place.

The Singers Zoo and the Night Safari - really well set up. Thoroughly enjoyed it.

Sentosa Island (good for a visit & that's where universal studios is) also has Underwater World. Again, Universal Studios may not be appropriate for someone who is 'with child' but my wordy Lordy - it has one of the best roller-coasters I've ever been on.

National art gallery and the museum were both fabulous and really unique.

Definitely go to Toast Box in the morning for thick peanut-butter toast and iced milo for brekkie. Though they are open all day so you can have it for lunch too :-) Seriously good toast.

Really liked the hawkers market under the Singapore Flyer and the hawkers market by the river. Hawkers markets in Singers are incredible. Excellent grub and cheap.

And if you feel like checking out something weird (and you can't sleep) head to little India and go to the Mustafa Centre. It's 24 hours and kind of like a big, weird department store. There's an old building and a newer one...so much stuff there (some quite cheap) But it's worth seeing for the craziness of it!

Finally - how can anyone go past a fish foot spa? If you haven't had crap nibbled off your feet by tiny, starving fish then you haven't lived!

So there you go - that was my good deed for the day. Tour guide for pregnant friend :-) And to everyone else - if you haven't been to Singers it is a very interesting place and well worth a visit I think!

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 32

Today's good deed was one for the environment. Instead of driving my car down to Melbourne for a lovely lunch with gorgeous friends I opted to take the train.

The decision seemed perfectly simple this morning. Take the VLine, reduce my carbon footprint and not have to worry about having a glass of bubbles or two. I took my (very average) book with me (how can I not find a publisher when apparently Harper Collins will publish any diarrhea that falls out someone else's bum?) and had a little read on the way there (until it made me feel sick).

It was on the return journey that I began to rue my environmental good deed.

First, I left my (very average) book in my friend's handbag at lunch because I was traveling lightly and had nowhere to keep it myself. So I had to find other amusements on the journey home and there were very few. In fact, the only thing that managed to (unfortunately) hold my attention were the soles of the feet of two incredibly weary young women who, by the tell-tale faded stamps on their wrists, were just making their way home from the night before.

The reason their feet were so visually compelling was because they were facing me and the soles were black and crusty and falling off. It was a revolting sight but I couldn't stop staring. (They were asleep so I didn't get busted looking like a foot-fetish perv). If I'd have had a ped-egg in my vicinity I'm not sure I could've stopped myself from giving them a good scrub...except for the fact that it appeared highly likely I might catch some gutter disease from them.

Anyhoo. That was my entertainment for the 50 minute ride home. Minging feet.

But my good deed was done. Yay me, yay trains and yay the environment!

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 31

Today's good deed is for a very, very, very special cause. Hands up who likes puppies? (I'm talking about the small, fluffy mini-dogs as opposed to a nice couple of funbags). Everybody loves puppies. But did you know that loads of the puppies that are for sale in pet stores or via the internet come from puppy factories?

These factories are the most inhumane, vile and cruel environments you could ever imagine an animal to be stuck in. They truly are horrific and need to be abolished. That's where Oscar's Law comes in. Oscar is a wee little dog that has spent most of his life inside one of these factories as a stud dog. The conditions he has had to endure are beyond deplorable. Through the determination and courage of certain individuals Oscar has been freed and now it's time to free all the other helpless victims.

Oscar's Law is a movement to abolish puppy factories and there are loads of ways you can help.

Today I logged on to: http://www.oscarslaw.org/ and within minutes I had signed the online petition and sent three e-mails (already written and ready to send on the website) to the most relevant parliamentary members calling for their cooperation in outlawing these heinous puppy factories.

The Oscar's Law website has made it so easy for people to help that my good deed for today basically did itself!

I really urge anyone who reads this to click the above link and join the fight. The dogs and puppies can't save themselves so it's up to us to do something to bring an end to their suffering.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

PS- If you are in Melbourne tomorrow there's an Oscar's Law rally - check the website for all the deets!

  

Changing the world - Day 30

My good deed for today came about rather unexpectedly (as they often do). My Dad came up to visit and since the weather was so delightful I dragged a big rug outside and we took Noam out and mucked about in the sunshine. Perfect.

Dad and I started reminiscing about lots of things...particularly different funerals we'd been to. One of my earliest memories (because my memory is so shite) is of going to my Grandpa's funeral in 1988 (Dad's Dad). I thought my Grandpa had died at a young age but Dad told me today he was actually 80. I had no idea. I also had no idea that Dad had written a eulogy but was too sad to read it so a family friend did it for him. How nice.

We also discussed my Mum's funeral, which was almost 15 years ago now. I remember very little from the days before or after and next to nothing from the actual funeral itself but Dad told me today that a family friend did the eulogy for Mum too. I had no idea.

We discussed a few other funerals (we've definitely had more than our fair share) but rather than being sad and depressing it was actually a really nice conversation and I learnt a few things that I didn't know or had forgotten.

It inspired me to write it all down and herein lies my good deed. I am going to keep a journal of all the little tid-bits that Dad and I discuss so I won't forget them. I want to be able to tell Noam things about his great-grandparents and his grandparents...and I want to be able to recollect them for myself as well.

That's my newest project and my good deed for today.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 29

I am feeling a little better today. Noam is at child care, Frenchy's at work and Dr Phil starts in 20 minutes. Seriously, what's the point of being sick if you can't indulge in a bit of dreadful daytime tv?

Today's good deed is really cool. I love Samantha Wills. She's an amazing jewellery designer and I have a couple of her amazing pieces (which I think are extremely well priced). I also bought my bridesmaids some of her goodies as a thank you gift for being so wonderful.

As if she wasn't fantastic enough, Samantha Wills has now turned a few of her gorgeous designs pink for the McGrath Foundation. All proceeds from the sale of her new pink range will go directly to the foundation to fight breast cancer. How fabulous it that? None of this 'we'll donate 10 cents from every item sold' or other lame offers like that. She's going the while hog. Brilliant.

Personally, I think I'm going to get the cafe del mar bracelet set but it's a hard choice.

Pop over to the Samantha Wills website here

http://www.samanthawills.com.au/shop/MCGRATH-PINK-PIECES

to get your limited edition piece and help the very worthy McGrath Foundation.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 28

I am sick. Full blown, achey-breaky sick. Ugh - I hate it. Thank God Noam decided to go back to sleep this morning from half 8 till 11. I did the exact same thing.

So my good deed for today (and I do expect some challenges as to whether this is actually a good deed) was to hibernate. I did not move from my Dad's house therefore I did not share any of my repugnant germs with the world.

Does that count? I believe it should because many is the person who fronts up to work all snotty and disgusting and sneezes their diseases all around the office under the misguided notion that they are being diligent. I don't think it's diligent at all. I think it's gross and potentially quite harmful to colleagues.

And it's not just work. Shopping centres are full of germ-ridden sods, grotting up the food courts and escalator hand-rails. Completely oblivious to the contamination they are leaving behind.

Well I did not contribute to the sharing of sickness today. I bundled it all up and kept it to myself. Here's hoping it gets bored of me soon and buggers off.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 27

I am getting sick. I blame my son fully, little bugger. But still I managed to get my good deed done.

A girlfriend who lives in the arse end of no-where bought a 'Thonet' (not sure if that's spelt correctly) on Ebay. The seller happened to live near my Dad so bingo bango I popped past and grabbed it for her.

I was attacked by an airedale dog in the process so I think my good deed is worth double!

Until tomorrow do-gooders xxx

Changing the world - Day 26

Let me just say straight up that I have never written a fan letter. Nosiree. I possibly contemplated it when 'Speed' came out and I was obsessed with Keanu Reeves but I'm pretty sure I never sent one. Pretty sure.

But today I decided to tell someone that their work has influenced me considerably so I sent some fan mail to....(drum roll) Andrew Bolt. Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I just wanted to tell him that I thought his positions on refugees and climate change were bang on and it was high time someone with a bit of intellect infiltrated the Herald Sun offices. Ba ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Seriously though - I did send a fan letter today to Tom Robbins, author of at least one of the greatest books of all time (in my humble opinion) 'Jitterbug Perfume'. Love, love, love that book. You may be wondering why it was not in my top 10 books that I gave away (am still giving away - I have four left if you fancy doing a good deed!) and the answer is it was not on my bookshelf the day I wrote that post. True. I had lent it to my Dad who is currently enjoying it and so I had to omit it since I didn't have a copy to set free.

Anyhoo, in my fan letter (I wrote it on the back of an Australian postcard that showed how Europe fits into Australia with loads of space left over - clever AND educational) I told Mr Robbins that Jitterbug Perfume was one of the greatest stories I'd read and had helped inspire me to follow my writing dreams. I also invited him to become a member of my blog - what a coup that would be! I have a vision of Tom and I becoming quite chummy and having a rollicking good time sharing brilliant book ideas and witty anecdotes.

So keep your eyes glued to my members list. 15 may seem a paltry number but it's all about quality isn't it? And my members (and Tom Robbins) are quality.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 25

My good deed for today was two-fold. First, a friend of mine needed a place to spend the night so I offered up our spare room for her sleeping pleasure. Second, being the incomparable host that I am, I also sat through the ridiculousness of the first Twilight movie because she hadn't seen it.

This could be my best deed to date. Seriously. I mean, I'm a pretty easy audience, particularly where vampires and werewolves and wizards are concerned. Harry Potter is right up there with my fave books, as is a novel called 'The Historian' - a story about Vlad the Impaler and other unsavoury night-skulking characters. But the Twilight movies are just a bit too much to be borne. Mainly because poor old Kristen Stewart has a face on her like a wet fart throughout the entire film and her eyelashes seem to have developed a will of their own and batt continuously and rapidly.

Then there's all the cheesey, lovey-dovey, vomit-in-mouth lines...Are they actually in the book? I haven't read them so I'm hoping (since the majority of my friends love the books) that the writing in them is better than what was adapted for the screen.

Perhaps I'm just a romantical cynic? Perhaps I just hate crap writing? Either way, my darling friend was on the receiving end of two very good deeds today. Lucky, lucky girl.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 24

I'm not sure if this counts but my good deed today is staying up to write this blog...

As you may recall, yesterday I took Noam to visit the doctor and was given the task to go home and google 'stridor'. I discovered it was a rather unpleasant affliction and was, of course, listening to any minute change in his breathing.

Today things were worse. The poor little mite was struggling badly so I called 'nurses on call' on the advice of my very clever sister. Nurses on call are an excellent service (particularly useful after hours) who can help you determine whether there is anything serious wrong with yourself or your bubbas. After running through all the symptoms the lovely nurse said we should take him to an emergency ward to be checked for any offending 'stridors'.

So we popped up to Kyneton hospital where a nice nurse did all sorts of checks and tests before telling us we needed to see the doctor but we'd have to nip back to Woodend for that. No worries, since we live in Woodend.

The doctor met us at the clinic and gave the little man a good going over before saying that we should take a trip to the Children's Hospital for some further investigation. Rightio.

Noam was pretty calm during all this, though occassionally he got over it all and lost his shit for a bit. He slept on the dirve to Melbourne and we fronted up at the kids emergency ward where we first saw the triage nurse and then waited for our turn with the doctor.

The Dr did all the same tests as the nurse in Kyneton but wasn't happy that Noam's heart rate was high. So we had to sit around for a while to see if it decreased. This did not impress Frenchy. He had come to the conclusion that our trip into the Children's Hospital was a massive waste of time and had a face on him like a smashed crab. To be fair, Noam was over it. He was exhausted but upset with all the prodding. I, on the other hand, wanted all possibilities ruled out before we went home.

Frenchy paced up and down with Noam, periodically stopping to shoot me a 'this is friggin' ridiculous' looks. I thought he was going to have a crack at the good folk who spend their lives helping sick kids...Not cool. But he didn't. He hung on. Thank God. Because Noam was given the all clear shortly after and we were sent home with the same advice the 'google' Dr gave us yesterday. Panadol and fluids.

Frenchy returned to normal as soon as we were in the car and we both had a good laugh at the idea of some pretentious Frenchman going off in the kid's hospital.

It's just after midnight now and we began this saga about 6pm. So you see, I think it's a pretty good deed to sit up and write this when my eyes are quite seriously closing as I type. The spelling mistakes I'll find tomorrow!!

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 23

My good deed today was thrust upon me rather unexpectedly.

My little son Noam has progressively been getting sicker the past few days so today I took him to the doctors.

The doctor poked and prodded him while Noam screamed his lungs out and did an admirable job of fending him off. The doctor discovered that his throat was all red, as were his ears and he had a temperature. A viral infection he concluded.

Of course, he was unable to offer any relief aside from telling me to continue administering Panadol every 4 hours or so, as needed. Great.

Before I left he must've heard something more concerning in Noam's breathing because he paused and listened intently before saying (more to himself than me) 'no, I'm sure it's just a virus. But google "stridor" when you get home so you know what to look out for.' Um, ok.

Out at reception I was charged $70 for the privilege of hearing nothing that could be done for my miserable son AND I had to do the doctor's work for him.

Good deed for the day - educating myself (via google) about "stridors" because the doctor was too overworked to explain it.

A stridor (FYI) is a breathing abnormality that can be nothing serious or a sign of croup or an inflammation of the airways that can result in death. Excellent. So now I'm hovering constantly over Noam listening intently for any hint of obstructed breathing. Hmmm.

I have a suggestion for the medical profession - no win, no fee. If you can't solve my problem with medication or some helpful advice, I should not have to pay you. Or maybe just half price. Or something?!

Anyhoo, better go and listen to Noam breathe :-)

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Sent from my iPhone

Changing the world - Day 22

Everybody knows it's not what you know but who you know...that's how loads of idiots and wankers get management positions or singing contracts and stuff.

Look at all the 'it' people for instance. Most of them are only famous for having the sheer good luck to be born into a wealthy and prominent family.

Trying to get my book published is proving to be a monumentally difficult task (and I refuse to believe that it's because it's crap) so the only other explanation is - I just can't get it in front of the right people...because I don't know the right people. Woe is me!

Coincidentally - an old friend messaged me today asking two things: 1. Did I remember who he was and 2. Did I still have any contacts in the finance industry. My answer to him was yes and yes.

So I'm sending him the details of my old boss so he can hopefully land the job of his dreams in sunny Melbourne (he's from Ireland).

Et voila! Fingers crossed my good deed puts my friend in the know.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Sent from my iPhone

Changing the world - Day 21

My Dad had never been to IKEA. I offered to take him.

Today we went.

Enough said.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 20

I'm still working on my fistula translation...tres interesting. And the cafe I offered our veggies to yesterday happily accepted today, so that's good news...

On top of that - today's good deed was buying the latest copy of Macedon Ranges magazine. It's produced by a lovely friend of mine and brand new Mum, Sarah Preston. The second ever issue came out yesterday and it's gorgeous, of course! And full of wonderful articles and photos about the beautiful Macedon area. Divine.

Pick yourself up a copy at selected (excellent) newsagents or contact me or go online at www.macedonrangesmag.com

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

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Changing the world - Day 19

A little sumpin' to remind us all that spring has sprung!

Changing the world - Day 19

My lips have begun to tingle...I'm getting a touch of the trout-mouth about me. Because I have been accepted for the volunteer position I applied for with the UN. Move over Ange - there's a new pout in the hood. Cool!

So tonight I have been practicing my French by reading a document and translating it to English. I haven't required Frenchy's help too much which is pleasing. But given the document is about obstetric fistulas it can get a little technical in parts. It's not too long though and I am getting through it reasonably quickly. I have a one week deadline but I estimate I'll be done by Wednesday. Yay!

You know how certain things you've either never heard of before or only recently been made aware of seem to crop up continuously after that first encounter? Well that has happened to me with the word fistula. I really had no clue what it was until I watched 'Embarrassing Bodies' the other day with a friend of mine and we were horrified when a man's anal fistulas were deemed worthy of a close-up camera shot. Oh my God. Not pretty. But at least he had access to medical care.

And now I'm translating a document about how prevalent obstetric fistulas are in certain parts of Africa. I hope my good deed helps raise awareness for this awful and avoidable problem.

So yesterday's good deed has carried over into today - and will continue to carry on for a little while yet. But I'm still doing other things as well...For instance today I emailed a local cafe (The Village Larder) to see if they wanted some of our excess vegetables from our garden. Parsnips and turnips and leeks particularly. But I haven't heard back from them yet. I'll try them again in the morning...

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 18

Today I registered with the United Nations to be a volunteer. I know! How globally aware of me!

I stumbled across their website http://www.unv.org/en.html and discovered that you can volunteer all sorts of ways online - trés convenient. So I offered my services as a translator for some document (on obstetrics apparently - how appropriate) to write it up in English from French...Frenchy said he'd help me so no fear :-)

Of course, being the United Nations, you have to answer all sorts of in depth questions and send in a CV, so no doubt I'll eventually be rejected as a volunteer - how ironic. Nevertheless I have sent my application off and am waiting eagerly for a reply. You'll be the first to know of my success or otherwise.

I feel like Angelina-friggin-Jolie!

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 17

Busy, busy day today. Noam's first birthday was a raging success and the little man had a cracking time with all his peeps. All the guests had a big cuddle and he even tasted his first cupcake from Gild & Grace blogger Abbey. What a lucky boy.

My good deed for the day was something I try to do as often as possible and I hope it has some small impact. At Coles buying foodstuffs for the party I found myself in the 'breakfast' ailse looking for peanut butter...what would a 1st birthday party be without spiders? (Chocolate, peabut butter and Mr Changs dried noodles - unbelievable!)

Anyhoo...in the peanut butter ailse and I noticed there were two varieties of the Coles home brand dominating the shelves. On top of which they had the cheek to put a sign beside a competitor brand saying 'pay 68% less with Coles brand' and an arrow pointing customers in the right direction. Really? I would've thought that was pretty low.

So I bought the competitor brand. I know the homebrand stuff is cheaper but I just hate the thought that Coles (and Woolworths) are in such a powerful position that they can just flood the market with all their homebrand crap. I feel sorry for the other guys.

I know it's just a little protest but I still think it qualifies as a good deed. Stickin it to the man!

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 16

I have a few incidental good deeds today...the first is cleaning my dad's house. I have an ulterior motive for that though because we are having a little get together for noam's 1st birthday there tomorrow and I don't want the guests to think my dad is a derelict. So I scrubbed the bathroom clean with 4 different types of heavy duty chemicals. I've now lost the power of smell and skin is peeling off my hands. Nevertheless, job done.

The second incidental good deed was renouncing my position as driver after several fruitless laps of the highpoint car park tonight. Eventually I just pulled over, got out and told frenchy to sort it out because I was losing my mind and about to go postal on everyone's arse.

The final incidental good deed was watching 'Black Swan' and now being in a position to recommend it to all and sundry. I know I'm behind the eight ball but Lordy me, it's a good film - If you're into some seriously f*cked up shit! No wonder Nat won an Oscar - bloody marvelous!

So there you have it. Another day, another three good deeds done!

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

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Changing the world - Day 15

Today I had a bit of a stinker. Working away at trying to get my book published and had a most disheartening conversation with an agent. Ho hum - it's damn near impossible to get your work read by anyone these days. Though, as a wise person once told me, if it's good enough it will find a home. Here's hoping.

So my good deed for the day (for myself - was just just to get out of the house) but for the greater community - I helped out upliftbras.org

What on earth is upliftbras.org I hear you cry? Well, you know that cool, boobalicious shop Bodywise that I took my friend to the other day? They collect second hand bras for women in third world countries who would otherwise go without. I took a stack of bras down there that I don't wear anymore and hopefully someone, somewhere will soon be getting around in my rather comely Elle Macpherson Intimates.

I can't believe I was whinging to a friend yesterday about how hard it is when you're pregnant to find a good bra that's supportive. At least I can wrap my bazooms up in something! Imagine letting them hang loose 24/7 - no thank you umpire.

If you feel so inclined - check out the upliftbras website here: http://www.upliftbras.org/

You don't have to go to my friends at Bodywise in Woodend to donate - but if you'd like to visit them too then here's their deets: http://www.bodywise.com.au/

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 14

Ladies and gentleman,

Today I will be performing a good deed that may benefit you! It requires a little audience participation but it is totally worth it.

I am a big reader. I love books. Big books, little books, funny books, skinny books, sad books, Dad's books, any kind of books I can get my hands on. As a result, I have a rather hefty collection. Frenchy reckons that I need to give them all away because books are meant to be read rather than gather dust on a bookshelf. But I've always been a bit precious with my books and the thought of giving them away was almost offensive.

But I have had a change of heart. Maybe it's my 365 days of good deeds but I've come around to the idea of sharing my most treasured tomes with others.

So this is what I'm going to do: I am going to pick my 10 favourite books of all time. The most amazing books I've ever read. The ones that changed my life or my beliefs or just generally were the shit.

All you have to do to get your hands on one is this - a good deed. Pay it forward homies. Do a good deed, post it as a comment on my blog (or if you don't have an account compatible with blogger then just e-mail me your good deed at krissiekennedy@gmail.com) and let me know your address. You will then receive (in the mail!!!) one of my all time favourite books to read.

You can't keep it though! You have to pass it on to someone else and they have to pass it on too. These 10 books are going out into the world as vagabonds - never to return to the dusty prison of a bookshelf.

Yippeee! This is going to be fun...There's only 10 though so get your do-gooder skates on.

Until tomorrow xxx

Changing the world - Day 13

I have been killing myself lately trying to get my book finished. My head is constantly pounding with ideas and amendments and...stuff.

Today I had a day off. I visited my Dad. Went shopping with a friend. She colored my hair. Then I had a lovely dinner at a fave haunt with another couple of besties.

By the time I got home I was exhausted. But a different, nice kind of exhausted. Then I made the shocking realisation I'd forgotten to do a good deed!

OMG! As the kids say these days. I had no idea what to do given I was already in bed. My husband suggested something rude (you can guess) - I told him to go whistle :-)

I looked to Facebook for inspiration and noticed a little 1 on my messages icon. A nice diversion I thought! Who had written me a note? I clicked on it and lo, a friend had sent a link asking if anyone wanted to sponsor her wee niece in the MS Read-a-thin! No shit!

I love the MS read-a-thon. I still remember cheating in it when I was in primary school. All my neighbors would sponsor me for 10 or 20 cents per book but unbeknownst to them I was skim reading 100 Little Golden Books. On collection day I'd be collecting a good 10 or 20 bucks of everyone. Result!

My friend's niece had delightfully stated her target amount to reach was 20 cents. Ah bless! How could I not donate to such a worthy cause on behalf of such an adorable child?

So there you have it - good deed opportunities can pop out at you any time, any place. You just have to be ready for them.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

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Changing the world - Day 12

My good deed today literally knocked on my door.

I had just returned home from picking the little mite up from childcare when I heard a pounding on my front door.

I opened it to find a man laden with canvases who then thrust a piece of cardboard under my nose which explained he had communication difficulties. I continued reading and discovered he was selling paintings of scenes from around the area. Would I like to see them?

Well, yes I would. It's not every day an art gallery appears at your door. So I invited him in and he displayed five works he'd done, two of which were very pretty landscapes. I asked how much they were and he indicated to a piece of paper which read '99 each'.

I don't know about anyone else but the last time I had a hundred bucks in my wallet was in the previous decade so I had to decline. He'd heard that old chestnut before though and immediately showed me another note that said 'you can go to the ATM.' Cheeky sod!

Noam started crying so I told the artist that I couldn't go to the ATM but I could give him a donation towards his endeavours if that was acceptable. Apparently it was, so I contributed to his art fund and he set off with a smile on his face.

I'm not sure if this is the good deed he was hoping for but it's something, right?

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 11

My good deed today is a little abstract but will ultimately save lives.

I have had some rather heated debates in the past with a couple of my friends regarding the cinematic credentials of the movie '27 Dresses'. I contend that that film has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, while some buddies are adamant it should be hailed a classic rom-com.

I was informed yesterday by a very considerate friend, that the movie in question was being screened on channel 11 tonight.

My good deed for today incorporates the following: unprecedented restraint at not putting my foot through the tv.

Ignoring an overwhelming desire to create a Katherine Hiegel voodoo doll and stick pins in it for hours on end.

Resisting the temptation to go on a wild, random shooting spree in protest that such an abomination was ever allowed to assault our eyes and ears.

So you see, sometimes a good deed is not what you do, but what you don't do. Amen brother.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

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Changing the world: Day 10

Woohoo! Double digits...Today's good deed was the old double-pronger.

I took a very good friend of mine to an excellent maternity bra shop to get some uber comfy bra's for her expanding boosies.

On the flip side - I took a lovely customer into a fantastic local shop called Bodywise and increased the knowledge of their presence outside of Woodend!

Yay me! And yay for boobs!

Until tomorrow do-gooders x

Sent from my iPhone

Changing the world - Day 9

I'm a little bit obsessed at the moment with crowd-funded art websites. If you have no idea what they are then I hope I explain it clearly.

There are websites (predominantly) in the US where artists from all genres can upload their project ideas for the general public to browse. If you are browsing and like what you see you can contribute money to the cause and help the artist reach their goal. For instance - I could upload the first chapter of my book, write a really great pitch and hope people like it and pledge money to help me pay for publishing...make sense?

Artists usually offer incentives for contributions as well. Most authors offer a copy of the book or something like that. Anyhoo - best way to understand it is to go have a squiz at indiegogo.com or kickstarter.com

I was browsing around indiegogo today and found a book written by a couple of likely lasses called 'does this ponytail make my butt look big?' It's a style guide for women who don't have the wardrobe or money of Rachel Zoe. Cool idea I thought. So I pledged some money to help them on their way.

Donations can be as big or small as you like - my thought is every little helps!

So hopefully my good deed for the day will help a very worthwhile cause take off!

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

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Changing the world - Day 8

My friend Abbey does this sort of stuff way better over at Gild & Grace but I thought I would try a visual good deed today.

Bashing away on the computer I was pleasantly surprised when my Dad turned up on my doorstep for lunch. While eating he commented on the beautiful daffodils growing in our yard.

I had not taken the time to notice them but when I stopped and stared I was overwhelmed by their magic. The colour just makes you happy don't you think?

So I picked a few for my study - I'm hoping they encourage me to keep persisting in what can be a pretty disheartening pursuit.

And I hope they inspire you too - to do whatever it is that you want to...

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Changing the world - Day 7

My good deed for today jumped up and bit me on the bum. I was at my Dad's this morning, helping him sell some stuff on EBay, when his very, very, extremely elderly neighbour hobbled outside to collect her bins.

I dashed over to take the bins from her and wheel them in myself while Dad had a chat. She is not well. Nosiree. Last time I saw her I took Noam over to cheer her up a bit but he burst into tears when he saw her. Bad timing.

Today she looked even more frail and sickly. I did not take Noam over.

Bringing the bins in for her was a pretty simple act but I think in the days and weeks to come I might keep Dad's neighbour in the forefront of my mind for good deeds.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

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Changing the world - Day 6

I've always fancied myself as a bit of a singer. My confidence took a beating for a while when I dated a singer but luckily we did not work out. So my passion was reignited and I have inflicted my vocals on anyone who's ridden in my car, anyone at any karaoke party / bar I have ever been to and any peeping tom's who've spied on me in the shower.

As I was zooming down the Calder Freeway today on my way to my Dad's place, I realised that as Chris de Burgh hit the crescendo in 'Lady in Red', I didn't quite. Actually I did not hit it at all.

My dad took up piano when he retired a/ because he loves the piano and b/ because he thinks it might ward off any possibility of Alzheimer's taking hold. Fair enough too. So I asked him if his piano teacher might be able to recommend a singing teacher to help me reach the heady heights of Chris de Burgh. He said he'd ask, she said she knew someone and bish bash bosh - I've locked myself in to some singing classes.

This is most definitely a good deed - just ask anyone who's heard my rendition of Lady in Red or anything else for that matter!

A friend of mine imparted some wisdom to me once upon a time. She said she'd always wanted to play the violin and had been telling all and sundry as much for years. For her 40th birthday she booked in for some lessons and was told that if she'd started when she'd first thought of it she would've been proficient already.

Hmmm - good point. By my 40th birthday then you'll probably see me at number 1 on the top 40! So you see - this good deed just keeps on giving.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xx

Sent from my iPhone

Changing the world - Day 5

Hello all,

Had a bit of a bad night last night with a rather unfortunate upset stomach. This morning I wondered what good deed I could do from the comfort of my own home.

But the sunshine and some encouragement from friends inspired me to get out and get a bit of vitamin D (is that the one you get from the sun?) on my sickly skin.

What a brilliant idea. I'm so pleased I did it. Spring is really in the air, the cherry blossoms are blooming, magnolia trees are at their most beautiful and the birdies were tweeting away.

I thought I'd walk until something struck me and it did. I saw the local library in the distance and thought what an important service they provide. Being a huge book lover I had joined the library when we first moved to Woodend but in 2 years I've been about twice - when my Internet was broken at home.

So I slouched about the library looking at all my possible borrowing options. Surprisingly they were extensive (in the fiction section anyway) and I borrowed a book titled 'Dear Editor'. I thought that was appropriate at the moment :-)

So there you have it. Good deed for today was utilising the public library. I'm making a promise to myself to go more regularly because they're ace and where would we be if they disappeared?

Until tomorrow do-gooders x

PS - thank you to everyone who has left a lovely message of encouragement. I really appreciate you taking the time to stop by and comment x

Sent from my iPhone

Changing the world - Day 4

Hello everyone,

Made it back from a wonderful weekend in Warrnambool. Managed to see a southern right whale and her calf mucking about at Logan's Beach. Very cool.

My good deed today didn't even require me to move from the computer. I signed the 'get up' petition supporting equality for our gay brothers and sisters! Let them suffer through a legally binding marriage like the rest of us I say! :-)

Seriously though - are we really still debating this? In 2011?! Ridiculous.

If you want to do something good today - click on the link below and stick your support where your mouth is...or something like that :-)

Until tomorrow do-gooders xxx

https://www.getup.org.au/campaigns/marriage-equality/petition/sign-now?referring_service=mailto#.TlC1CGcRRjo.mailto

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Changing the world - day 3

In warrnambool today on a bit of a family weekend away. While my husband, dad and son were out having a walk (I was having a nana nap) they saw sections around lake pertobe with a big revegetation effort underway.

Somehow, a few of the little treelings had lost their protective milk cartons so I went back to the site with frenchy and fixed them.

Easy peasy. I would put a photo up of the little trees we 'saved' (maybe a little dramatic?!) but I can't work out how to add more than one photo from my phone. Not very technologically advanced :-)

Until tomorrow do-gooders xxx

Changing the world - Day 2

Isn't it lovely when you get mail? Real mail. In the letterbox, from someone you want to hear from. The sad fact is it rarely happens anymore. We're all so busy being 'connected' we've forgotten the pure joy derived from the simple things in life.

Today I decided to send a letter to a friend, just to let them know they're ace and someone is thinking of them.

I think I'm going to do that more often. It was easy, nice to write and fun to post. And I'm hoping will improve my friend's day when it's delivered.

Until tomorrow do-gooders xxx

Sent from my iPhone

Changing the world...

It's been a long time between posts my friends but for good reason. I have been thwacking away on the keyboard trying to write and finish and perfect and re-write my book. Yes indeedy. In case you are unaware I have been writing a book (the most humorous work you've ever seen) about my pregnancy. Fingers crossed.

When last we met, I was looking for inspiration on what I could do for 365 days of the year and blog about. Like the movie Julie and Julia and countless other 365 endeavours that are occurring on blogs across the world.

I was slightly underwhelmed with the responses from my loyal followers (none). However, I blame you not, for everyone leads busy lives and who has time to think up such whimsical notions? Well I was inspired yesterday, quite unexpectedly, by a friend who was very excited about the 365 days of something. He suggested 365 days of training for the Hawaiian Iron Man and then actually competing in the Hawaiian Iron Man. Ho ho ho. While that may be something that a lot of people would be interested in following (considering the possibility of my dying during the training or competition would be incredibly high) I didn't think it feasible for me.

But the discussion got me thinking once again about the 365 day topic and then a sprig of an idea grew. I don't know about anyone else but for me, seeing the state of the world at the moment is almost too much to bear. There are more wars going on than you could possibly imagine, there are pirates and riots and all sorts of hideous evil-doings. It's just plain sad.

So what do I propose to do about it you may ask? I'll tell you...

For the next 365 days I am going to do a good deed a day. A GOOD DEED A DAY.

I don't mean donating all my worldly possessions and becoming a monk and moving to Tibet (though who knows how I'll feel by the end of my year). I mean daily gestures, small deeds that generally make the world a better place. Holding doors open, having a cup of tea with an elderly neighbour, not swearing blindly at a car who cuts me off, having sex with my husband (ho ho). You get the picture.

If you have some premeditated ideas for deeds I could do please send them in. Otherwise I'll just be going with organic, spur of the moment deeds. Either way works for me.

My good deed for today - Day 1 - is to upload a photo and update the blog that we've set up for Noam's Grandmamie and Grandpapi in France. It's the only way they get to see their little man and I need to be more diligent about it.

There you go. That was easy. And has definitely improved the world by making some people happy.

I feel good already. Until tomorrow do-gooders! xxx

365 days of what?

I'm looking for some inspiration loyal followers. Since returning from my holiday I have been feeling somewhat flat. A little low on ideas. Underwhelmed.

I have decided that I would like to follow in the footsteps of (seemingly) everyone else on the planet and do something interesting on my blog for 365 days. Everybody's doing it...Look at Julie and Julia - cracking movie, loved it. And Julie was inspired from toenail to eyebrow with her 365 days of recipe blogging.

Then there's the Tupperware lady who (possibly a little less creatively than I'm hoping for) made 365 Tupperware recipes. Bless her - I'm sure it was still bloody hard work but I'd like to move away from the J&J theme.

I can't remember who's doing this but someone famous (for something other than photography I think) is uploading a new photo of their kids everyday to their blog. Maybe that was the crazy ex-footballers wife. The carlton guy. I think she was on Dancing with Stars? Mental blank. Anyway - it could've been her or it could've been someone way more famous. I forget.

Then I read about some guy who's writing micro-fiction every day for a year on his blog. Can't remember much about him either but still. He's doing it. And if he can, I certainly can!

So, if you've got any ideas - drop a comment below. I don't want anything to do with recipes. I need an original idea, the likes of which I am incapable of coming up with myself at the moment!

Thanks in advance for your inspired ideas.

Until tomorrow xx

Ah bumper stickers - a truly noble industry

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Milk and cabbage anyone?

Deviating once again from the holiday tidbits I have something to share with you that may be considered too much information. Nevertheless...

Since Sunday I have been weaning the little fella off the liquid gold that is my breastmilk. This is for several reasons, one of which is that he started going to childcare on Monday. Just one day a week but still time away from home. A little quiet work-time for me and a little interaction for him. So I needed him to be able to take a bottle or some other form of liquid in my absence, hence the weaning.

Unfortunately I didn't do it very cleverly and have pretty much gone cold turkey. The little guy has gone gang-busters on the bottle and seems as happy as Larry. I, on the other hand, am struggling. And that is a whopping understatement.

My boobs are the size of basketballs and equally as hard. They've been throbbing with pain and leaking so much that no breast pad is adequate. The only relief I get is in the shower where I massage a bit of the milk out but it's a reasonably insignificant bit and I'm back at capacity shortly after. Last night I got in the shower and started my massage routine, only to have the hot water run out after a few minutes. So I sat down and cried. Boo-freakin-hoo.

I read from several sources that clean cabbage leaves popped on swollen mammaries can help alleviate the pain. Was I that desperate? Indeed I was. I bought a cabbage, washed the leaves, used a rolling pin (as instructed) to flatten them a bit and then filled my bra with them. I could hardly stand the smell of myself as I rested on the couch yesterday trying not to move. Truthfully though, whether or not the cabbage did anything, it was so nice and cold that it felt like it helped.

I put some fresh leaves in after my non-shower and went to bed. My poor husband must have an impenetrable nose because he slept beside my milky cabbage leaves unfazed.

I felt a bit better this morning but as the day has worn on things have gotten rather uncomfortable again. Looks like I'll have to make a mercy dash to the supermarket for some more healing cabbage.

Until tomorrow xx

Malaysia truly Asia

Sometimes things just seem to be done wrong. Or organised poorly. You know? For example, after the piss pillow incident, my family and I arrived in Malaysia and were transferred to out hotel. No problems. We were soon told though, that our pool was undergoing maintenance and wasn't available for use. Never fear though - because all the hotel guests were able to utilise the 'surf beach' area of the water theme park attached to the hotel. Cool! Way better than a hotel pool anyway, we thought.

And it was. The surf beach was huge and had lots of little slides and play areas for kiddies and was generally just a haven of excitement for the young. We had just set ourselves up in the pool after spending God-knows how long preparing Noam with sunscreen, water-proof nappies, a blow-up floatie seat etc etc when we heard the sharp trill of a whistle.

A handful of lifeguards were walking around the edge of the man-made beach with a rope, calling everyone out of the water and sending them back behind the barricade. Had a tsunami warning been issued? Perhaps Malaysian sharks are able to find their way from the sea to swimming pools somehow? Clever little things.

We did what we were told and went and sat behind the rope, leaving the enormous pool completely empty, save for a few rebels that refused to get out. A siren sounded and I thought that was to get the attention of the anarchists still swimming but no, a huge cheer went up from the roped-off crowd and then a wave materialised out in the deep part. So it was a wave pool. Wonderful. I thought it was slightly excessive to rope the pool off completely but whatever. I figured 15 minutes and we'd be back in splashing around.

Not quite. The first wave came and went and then nothing. For probably 10 minutes. Then another siren, a cheer, another wave, then nothing. After the third wave I went to ask a lifeguard how long this was going to go on for. Another half an hour he said. Really? An hour of nothingness for basically hundreds of people, while about 6 people who'd paid I don't know how much, waited for 6 waves to boogie board or body surf on.

What an incredibly dumb arrangement. Why not 6 waves in 15 minutes and then bang - everyone back in the pool? It was all so boring we just decided to head back to the hotel, despite the fact it was a thousand degrees and perfect pool weather.

Ah well, lesson learnt. Wave pools in Malaysian water parks are not the most efficient or the most exciting attractions around.

Until next time xx

Play school or Repay School?

Ok - I was going to carry on with more interesting, amusing and disgusting tales from my voyage but my thoughts have been hijacked watching Play School with my son. Well actually, he's not even watching so it's just me.

Today the hosts are some guy with way too much facial hair - he looks like a face off the 'guess who' boardgame and the chick who used to play Anne off Neighbours. Billy Kennedy's girlfriend. In real life she had the unfortunate experience of going out with Matthew Newton. Anyhoo.

Guess Who and Anne just sang a song to the tune of 'Kung Fu Fighting' but it went a little sumpin like this - 'Everybody was exercising, starjumps as fast as lightning'...I'm not joking.

Yesterday when I was watching I saw Alex Papps was one of the hosts. You may remember him from such soaps as Home and Away where he played Frank - the rebellious, misunderstood boyfriend of Bobby. He was also at some point (not sure whether it was before, after or simultaneously) the boyfriend of 'Roo' Stewart, who was played by Justine Clarke. And guess what - Justine Clarke is also a host on Play School! Can you believe it?

Play school must be the place ex-soap stars go to repay their debt to the community. Bless 'em.

Until tomorrow xx

Piss pillow

Friends and faithful followers...Apologies for my absence the past month but I decided to forgo technology on my honeymoon and have some time off. It won't happen again I promise. The good news is I am full to bursting with tid-bits that I'll be sharing with you on a daily basis. No better place to start than the start so here we go.

I love to travel but I hate having to get to my destination. It's a well known fact the my fear of flying is extreme, to the point that I enlisted the help of a hypnotherapist before we left for Europe. I must admit that it was somewhat successful. I wasn't too nervous until we hit a bit of turbulence on the way to Malaysia, which is unheard of for me since I'm usually a nervous wreck at least 24 hours before the flight.

So there I was, relaxing as best I could on the plane when I experienced a phenomenon I'd only heard about but never witnessed. While watching a movie with Jennifer Anniston and Adam Sandler (the name of which I cannot recall) I heard hysterical laughing intruding through my headphones. I glanced behind me and saw two young men (obviously Australian) absolutely beside themselves with mirth. I went back to my movie.

Then they got up and tried to run into business class which happened to be right beside our seats (and all the seats of parents with infants who were sleeping soundly in their basinets). Of course they were quickly escorted out but not before they managed to bang into one of the basinets and wake the little mite who in turn screamed it's lungs out to wake the other little mites. Wonderful.

After coercing our baby back to sleep I got up to go to the toilet which was occupied. I stood beside the door and had a view on the 2 lunatics who were both as pissed as Karl Stefanovic at the Logies. Then one of them stood up, still laughing uncontrollably, took a pillow and placed it in front of his crotch where a stain was spreading down his pants. Oh goody, he'd pissed himself. He stumbled over and stood behind me waiting for the toilet but the temptation (of course) became too much and he just had to pitch the pillow at the back of his friend's head. He then ran off in search of another toilet. His friend however, not realising he'd departed threw the piss-pillow back from the direction in whence it had come and hit me squarely in the side of the head.

The pitcher was then on the verge of cardiac arrest such was his amusement and he tried desperately to tell his girlfreind (I am sad to say they both had women with them) but she wasn't interested and I think I lipread her correctly saying 'you're a dickhead'. My sentiments exactly. I thought the stewards would end up having to handcuff them or lock them in the toilet or shove them out the emergency door or something but sadly they seemed disinterested.

At least I was distracted from the turbulence for a while. That's something I think. You've got to look at the piss-pillow as half full don't you?

Until tomorrow xx

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm way too cool to make my poem rhyme

Round two of the poem competition began yesterday. I was as eager as a kid at Christmas to pour over the next 12 poems I'd been sent to judge, convinced they would be an improvement on the last lot. Well, well, well. Waddayaknow? They were basically a load of stinking cat's piss as well.

To be fair, a lot of the death and misery along with the sappy romantic shite was gone but instead I got a bunch of the too cool for school 'I'm not going to rhyme because my words are so deep and random and clever that rhyming will only serve to dumb it down for the idiot masses' stuff.

Which is worse? I think I prefer the miserable cancer poems.

Forgive me but I like a good old fashioned rhyming poem. One that you can sort of sing along to. Imagine if dear Dorothea Mackellar had thought 'I love a sunburnt country, a land of sweeping plains, of rugged mountain ranges, of drought and floods and horses...' Doesn't quite have the same feel really.

So all the ones I selected as being in my top 4 rhyme. I make no apologies for that. Perhaps it's because I grew up with 'All right, Vegemite' and those sorts of books that I prefer the rhyming poem. Plus, let's get right down to it; it's harder to come up with something brilliant that rhymes. One of my all time favourites is Edgar Allan Poe's - The Raven - which is fantastically frightening AND it rhymes! How on earth did he do it? Who would know. And apparently many emerging poets aren't terribly concerned. (If you haven't read it check it out here: http://poestories.com/read/raven )

Sadly, the entrants are unaware whether their poem has proceeded to the next round so I have no details for you as to the success or otherwise of my own (rhyming) masterpiece. You will know as soon as I do.

Until tomorrow xx

Animal crackers in my blog

Walking about the town with the Frenchman the other day we spied a flock of cockatoos. He remarked that they are actually quite a pretty bird. I agreed that it was true until they opened their bloody, great, squawking beaks. Not unlike David Beckham, I said. Pretty to look at but you want to run away screaming as soon as he opens his trap.

This led me to ponder other famous(ish) people and which animal would best represent them. Of course, I had no trouble with my friend Andrew Bolt, who I believe epitomises the hagfish. The hagfish (if you've never heard of it) is a creature from mysterious fathoms below as the song goes and is best described on the Deep Sea Photography website:

The hagfish is a deep-sea scavenger extraordinaire. Among other things it can tie itself in knots and secrete a bucketload of thick mucus in just a few seconds.

Amazing! Andrew Bolt in a nutshell!

Miranda Kerr is the very essence of the one-of-a-kind platypus. The platypus is a mixture of a bird, because of it's duck-like bill, a mammal because of its fur and it feeds its young with milk, and a reptile because of it's venomous spurs. Now, I don't know about the venomous part (she might be a total bitch but I don't think so) but she's definitely been obsessed lately with tweeting (like a bird) photos of herself breastfeeding (mammal). Ho ho ho.

Eddie Maguire is your common black ant that seems to be every freakin place you look.

Prince Harry is like a cheeky cat you want sitting on your lap. A-hem.

Prince Willy is a very noble bald eagle (cheap shot).

Goodness me I could carry on all day. But I won't. I'll leave you all to ponder your own thoughts of celebrities and their animal equivalents. As for me, I'm like a big old cow. Big, droopy udders and I feel like I'm asleep standing up.

Until tomorrow xx

Careful with that wax dear...

Generally, I understand the need for a business to try and up-sell. I get it. They need to make as much money as possible and if a customer is buying one thing then why not try and make them buy two or three? Makes sense. But there is one industry in particular that needs to realise the up-sell is not merely the harmless money-maker that it is in other sectors.

Beauty industry hear me now! If I come in for an eyebrow threading or eyebrow shaping do not ask me if I would like my lip or chin done as well. Chances are I’m already aware of the little fuzzy mass that resembles a full-blown handlebar mo under the unforgiving lights of your salon. I do not need to be reminded of it’s embarrassing existence and I can assure you I would ask for the treatment if I wanted it. Perhaps I have an ulterior method of mo removal that you are unaware of and I am slightly behind with. Perhaps I look worse with the bright red (albeit hair-free) skin that I leave with than I did with the little 'tash. The reason could be anything, but one thing is for sure, you don't need to point it out to me.

Same goes for all you waxers out there. If I don’t book in for a crack wax, don’t offer me one when I’m getting the old bikini line tidied up. Again, there’s probably a good reason I'm not having it done. Like burning hot wax near my aah-noose makes me do a reflex poo that would not be appropriate in your salon or on your finely manicured hands.

You get me? Ta.

Until tomorrow xx