Animal crackers in my blog

Walking about the town with the Frenchman the other day we spied a flock of cockatoos. He remarked that they are actually quite a pretty bird. I agreed that it was true until they opened their bloody, great, squawking beaks. Not unlike David Beckham, I said. Pretty to look at but you want to run away screaming as soon as he opens his trap.

This led me to ponder other famous(ish) people and which animal would best represent them. Of course, I had no trouble with my friend Andrew Bolt, who I believe epitomises the hagfish. The hagfish (if you've never heard of it) is a creature from mysterious fathoms below as the song goes and is best described on the Deep Sea Photography website:

The hagfish is a deep-sea scavenger extraordinaire. Among other things it can tie itself in knots and secrete a bucketload of thick mucus in just a few seconds.

Amazing! Andrew Bolt in a nutshell!

Miranda Kerr is the very essence of the one-of-a-kind platypus. The platypus is a mixture of a bird, because of it's duck-like bill, a mammal because of its fur and it feeds its young with milk, and a reptile because of it's venomous spurs. Now, I don't know about the venomous part (she might be a total bitch but I don't think so) but she's definitely been obsessed lately with tweeting (like a bird) photos of herself breastfeeding (mammal). Ho ho ho.

Eddie Maguire is your common black ant that seems to be every freakin place you look.

Prince Harry is like a cheeky cat you want sitting on your lap. A-hem.

Prince Willy is a very noble bald eagle (cheap shot).

Goodness me I could carry on all day. But I won't. I'll leave you all to ponder your own thoughts of celebrities and their animal equivalents. As for me, I'm like a big old cow. Big, droopy udders and I feel like I'm asleep standing up.

Until tomorrow xx