Piss pillow

Friends and faithful followers...Apologies for my absence the past month but I decided to forgo technology on my honeymoon and have some time off. It won't happen again I promise. The good news is I am full to bursting with tid-bits that I'll be sharing with you on a daily basis. No better place to start than the start so here we go.

I love to travel but I hate having to get to my destination. It's a well known fact the my fear of flying is extreme, to the point that I enlisted the help of a hypnotherapist before we left for Europe. I must admit that it was somewhat successful. I wasn't too nervous until we hit a bit of turbulence on the way to Malaysia, which is unheard of for me since I'm usually a nervous wreck at least 24 hours before the flight.

So there I was, relaxing as best I could on the plane when I experienced a phenomenon I'd only heard about but never witnessed. While watching a movie with Jennifer Anniston and Adam Sandler (the name of which I cannot recall) I heard hysterical laughing intruding through my headphones. I glanced behind me and saw two young men (obviously Australian) absolutely beside themselves with mirth. I went back to my movie.

Then they got up and tried to run into business class which happened to be right beside our seats (and all the seats of parents with infants who were sleeping soundly in their basinets). Of course they were quickly escorted out but not before they managed to bang into one of the basinets and wake the little mite who in turn screamed it's lungs out to wake the other little mites. Wonderful.

After coercing our baby back to sleep I got up to go to the toilet which was occupied. I stood beside the door and had a view on the 2 lunatics who were both as pissed as Karl Stefanovic at the Logies. Then one of them stood up, still laughing uncontrollably, took a pillow and placed it in front of his crotch where a stain was spreading down his pants. Oh goody, he'd pissed himself. He stumbled over and stood behind me waiting for the toilet but the temptation (of course) became too much and he just had to pitch the pillow at the back of his friend's head. He then ran off in search of another toilet. His friend however, not realising he'd departed threw the piss-pillow back from the direction in whence it had come and hit me squarely in the side of the head.

The pitcher was then on the verge of cardiac arrest such was his amusement and he tried desperately to tell his girlfreind (I am sad to say they both had women with them) but she wasn't interested and I think I lipread her correctly saying 'you're a dickhead'. My sentiments exactly. I thought the stewards would end up having to handcuff them or lock them in the toilet or shove them out the emergency door or something but sadly they seemed disinterested.

At least I was distracted from the turbulence for a while. That's something I think. You've got to look at the piss-pillow as half full don't you?

Until tomorrow xx