Monday, September 30, 2013
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Saturday, July 27, 2013
And then I had kids. I reckon I've done all three of those examples in the space of an hour. Does that make me a bad parent? My kids better hope not 'cause they're stuck with me. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.
Recently my eldest son (Noam, who's 3) has developed a very serious attachment to the I-Pad. He regularly hollers for 'my I-Pad' which just sounds like mY-Pad when he desperately yells it to any fiend who may be keeping it from him.
He loves it. And, in all honestly, he knows how to work it better than I do. Which is both horrifying and incredible simultaneously. If we let him, Noam would sit playing games on the I-Pad for hours. Sometimes I do let him have it for longer than I'd like just so I can get the housework done. The I-Pad is an excellent babysitter.
I started to feel bad about the level of his addiction until I remembered a little something from my childhood. It looked like this:
The I-Pad of the eighties: Nintendo Game and Watch. My sister owned this one (Parachute) and another (Octopus) both of which I would happily while a full day away playing. I'm pretty sure my parents thought this 'Nintendo' was the best thing ever invented.
I still played outside, still amused myself with books and puzzles, but thoroughly enjoyed Parachute when I played it. Just like Noam. He loves play-dough, train sets and books too. He just also happens to love mY-Pad. And I've decided there's nothing wrong with that.
So if you happen to see me wheeling two kids around the shopping centre, one playing mY-Pad and the other mY-phone, try not to judge us. 'Cause if I see your disapproving stares I will come over there and bust your...I mean try not to judge us. Just because you might not do things exactly the same, doesn't mean we're doing things wrong.
Until next time xx
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Could there be a more auspicious time to re-launch than on the very day that the new Prince was born? I think not. So, to mark the occasion I have penned an open letter to Kate. I hope you enjoy...
I hope you don't mind Kate? I can't come at Catherine since it's not your name and all.
First, I just want to say a big congrats! I was only telling my friends yesterday how difficult it is to give birth with the whole world watching. You've probably seen the video my hubby uploaded to You Tube? So hard to ignore the millions of people focused on your dilated cervix when you know they're all gagging for news.
And a little boy! What do you know?! Same as me. Except I've got two. You'll have to get cracking on the next one now! Ha ha. Just kidding, let the stitches heal. You probably can't even sit down yet? Poor lamb. Anyway, we're like two peas in pods you and I, what with our boys and all. You'll probably go stealing my names now. Noam and Albi do sound a bit regal I reckon. You can if you want you know. I won't get shitty.
I hope the breast feeding's going OK? It can be pretty tricky. Just remember - if you're looking into its face you're doing it wrong. You've gotta be looking down its ear hole. Also, if your nip feels like it's caught in a sewing machine, that's wrong too. It shouldn't hurt at all. If the Prince is a wee chomper though, whack a cabbage leaf in your bra. I swear to God it helps.
I hope Wills is planning on doing his fair share? It's not the 1950's I hope you've reminded him. You can't be the only one getting up during the night. Do you have a good support network? That's crucial. Hopefully you'll be able to rope the grandparents in for a spot of babysitting. Even if they just nick up the shops for a bit. You'll get a bit of a break.
I've got heaps of tips for you if you need any advice. I'm a bit of an expert now. As I said, the most important thing is not to wait too long before the next one. You don't want to just get your figure back only to lose it again. Nup. Might as well stay fatty for a little while and be done with it.
Also, if you need anything I've got stacks of clothes my boys don't fit into any more. I've washed them, it's just that some of the stains are hard to move. Spew can be a real tough one. If you have some of those little stain-remover pens handy you'll save yourself a lot of heartache. Just keep them in your handbag or what have you and you're always prepared for what the little spew-bag can throw at you!
I'm sending you some of those little 'my family' stickers for the back of your car. For Wills, I got one of a man on a horse. You'll have to draw the polo stick on with liquid paper 'cause they didn't have one of them. I got a lady carrying shopping bags for you. Hope that's OK? I don't know what hobbies you have but I figure all girls like a good wander through Highpoint, or whatever the equivalent is over there.
Well, I'd better let you get back to Mummy duty. No doubt you're shitting bricks at all the new stuff you've got to learn. But I'm here for you. You can totally facebook me if you need to chat or anything.
PS - Dunno if I'd be letting Pippa do too much babysitting yet. She seems a little bit slutty? Your call though.'
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
The less fortunate in Woodend won't know what hit them! There were barely worn Nine West ankle boots in a very cool khaki colour. There were gorgeous strappies from Mollini in yellow and white! (as in 2 sets of shoes, one pair yellow, the other white). There was a pair of Crocs flippies that I've never worn because, despite all the hype, they actually weren't comfortable to me...I hope the next owner has a better experience.
There were a few other pairs as well...including some random sneakers that weren't mine but frenchy kept moving closer and closer to my stuff until they finished in my closet. I think they actually belonged to his Mum when she was here for our wedding! Oh well - she's inadvertently done a good deed now too!
Until tomorrow do-gooders xx
Sent from my iPhone