Saturday, April 30, 2011

The day after the night before

First things first. Why, in the name of all that is good, did the congregation have to arrive 3 hours before the bride? I'm not being funny but there were some more elderly guests in the crowd and I have to wonder whether their bladders or Tenna pads were able to last the distance? I pity the fool that has to mop Westminster Abbey's floors today.

Then to the guests' outfits: On the whole, not too bad. But there were some standout shockers. Take, for instance Princess Beatrice and Eugenie. You wouldn't call them the most glamorous of the royals but they had to go and stick enormous eyesores on top of their scones. Why draw more attention to yourself when you already look like a bunyip?

I thought the Queen looked nice. Camilla could've done without the hat that looked like a bathtub. Pippa looked like a supermodel. I'm pretty sure every bloke in the Abbey was thinking 'Phwoar, I'd tap that.' Particularly Harry, who looked pretty smart himself. I'm pretty sure every bird in the Abbey was thinking 'Phwoar, I'd like to climb his golden ropes.'

Wills looked handsome. Hair or no hair. And then there was Kate, or Katherine or Catherine. Whoever. Her dress looked lovely. Really, very nice indeed. Except I couldn't help but notice there seemed to be inbuilt nipples. I'm not much of a fan of that. It reminds me of Madonna during her cone-bra stage. Of course, Kate was a far cry from a cone bra, but there was that effect. To me anyway. None of my girlfriends agreed with me. Though a couple of them thought Pippa outdid her.

Another friend of mine was less complementary about Pippa and had the hide to call her a skank. She said it would've been nice if Pippa had have donned a pair of knickers. Now, I'm not sure if she was going commando or if she just had on a wicked G-banger, but one thing I do know is that a VPL is not appropriate at a royal wedding. So leave those knickers at home I say!

Until tomorrow, when we will discuss whether the marriage has been consummated and whether Harry got a leg over Pippa. Au revoir xxx

1 comment:

  1. ohhhhh Kristine!!i'm still laughing after reading your comments on the royal wedding!
    And i have to thank you for this info on Kate's "inbuilt nipples"!I was in shock when she entered the church, screaming (to myself and the cat!)"oh she must be cold poor thing"!!...
    now i understand, but i have to say i did not find the little sexy-not-appropriate-in-Westminster-for-your-internationally-watched-wedding shapes that erected from her gown very gracefull!Anyway!Who am i to judge!(i m myself a bit cold right now!!!)
    bisous à toute la famille et on se voit le 4 juin pour the next royal wedding(hope you ll have the taste to hide your nipples!!)
    Emilie (Romain's french friend who lived in his garage for a while, in Melbourne; back in 2008...:-))

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