Look into my eyes, don't look around the eyes

I am absolutely terrified of flying. There is, quite seriously, nothing I hate more than boarding a plane. Contrary to popular belief, the more I fly the worse I get. And I spend the entire flight in a state of silent horror waiting to plummet to my death.

To give you an idea of the extent of my phobia - I would rather have all my body hair tweezered out by a blind person. I would rather watch Grant Hackett's journalistic efforts on a constant loop for a full day. I would even rather be stuck in a lift for 24 hours with Sam Newman, Steve Price AND Andrew Bolt. Dear God, that is how bad it is.

Never one to let phobias fully get the better of me, I have always tried new things in an attempt to quash my fear. I've been to one of those flight simulator things where you sit in a cock pit and fly the plane yourself. That didn't help because my 'pilot' looked about 14 and would've been more at home at Timezone. I've tried every sort of (legal) drug available. Valium washed down with a glass of white? No effect whatsoever. I've tried meditation. Whatever.

I have to fly again soon, so now I've brought out the big guns. The hardcore shit. Yesterday I had my first hypnotherapy session! And it was WEIRD. The lady was lovely and we had a nice chat before she put me in a light trance and started asking all sorts of questions, which I answered, though I had no control over my answers.

Apparently my subconscious was doing all the talking and I spent the majority of the time in tears (while she was talking to my little 'sad' emotion). Yes indeed, lots of different emotions popped up wanting some attention - angry, mean, relaxed, happy...they were all there (I shit you not) and she spoke to each of them to find out how they were helping me or what they needed in order to help me better.

When I came out of the trance I had mascara from eyelash to arsehole but felt as light as (probably) the day I was born. All the thoughts that thump through my head night and day were quiet and it felt good.

So, I think I will go back. It was definitely very unusual but I am hopeful it will help. Oh and by the way, there was no swinging pendulum before my eyes or any utterances of 'and, you're under'. Bit disappointing that :-)

Completely unrelated - 'Run' of Run DMC was on Sesame Street this morning singing a duet with Elmo. They were encouraging a grasshopper to 'Hop this way'. Aw, cute.

Until tomorrow xx